


don't forget me (it's all your fault)

by hyunchans



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bathtub, Death, Flowers, Grief, Hurt, M/M, Mourning, Paranormal, Past Lovers, Trapped, brief blood, fall - Freeform, ghost character, im sorry, not knowing you are dead, stuck in a timeloop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:00:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29851539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunchans/pseuds/hyunchans
Summary: Minho was ignoring him again.No matter how many times he apologised, no matter how many gifts he left next to his bed every morning Minho didn’t seem to want to talk, wouldn’t sit with him watching over the flowerbed in the mornings.It was as though Changbin wasn’t even there.
Relationships: Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	don't forget me (it's all your fault)

**Author's Note:**

> i just needed to do something to remind myself that writing exists still and it is something that i do. in some way this is a vent piece.
> 
> for those who enjoy music to accompany their reading, this is what i wrote this to:  
> [evermore piano vers part 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57cNkQeG_K4&ab_channel=MinnzPiano)  
> 

_ "guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea, _

_ that you put between you and me" _

**\- closure, taylor swift**

✿

Changbin sat at the small table in the living room, gazing out over the flower bed that lay beneath the windowsill outside. The flowers that sprouted from the dirt used to make him glow, used to fill him with endless joy as he stirred his morning coffee. It was his morning ritual, one that superseded time, that he would never skip no matter the plans ahead of the day before him. He would sit there and absorb the energy from both the flower petals and the rays of sun that gave both the flower and his soul life.

Now, it just reminded him of everything that was his fault. 

The flowers had withered, the soil had been tainted, they weren’t being looked after. 

All the flowerbed did was remind him of everything he had lost. 

Changbin had no coffee, had nothing but himself to sit with as he watched clouds cover the sun’s expected warmth, wrapping the world tightly with endless grey. 

Looking at the flowerbed was like looking into a reflection, and all Changbin could see was a lifeless shell holding on to whatever it was giving it the last slither of strength to remain, to keep going.

✿

Minho was ignoring him again.

No matter how many times he apologized, no matter how many gifts he left next to his bed every morning Minho didn’t seem to want to talk, wouldn’t sit with him watching over the flowerbed in the mornings. 

He missed rolling over underneath the heavy duvet - Minho liked it weighted, liked the feeling of Changbin’s arms curling around his waist and rocking him awake from his slumber. 

It was tender, it was them.

Time passed and Minho would no longer react to his touch, would shiver as he woke up, grabbing for Changbin’s hands that tried rubbing soothing circles against his sweat-covered skin.

Instead of greeting him in the kitchen, Minho would shrug past him, avoiding his presence at all costs. 

It was as though Changbin wasn’t even there. 

✿

When Changbin woke up the next morning, he was in the confines of the bathtub. 

It was a derelict old thing - antique and slippery.

Minho would scold Changbin until the end of time if he could, reminding him to put a mat down in order to help him avoid slipping over. 

As Changbin startled awake in the tub he was frightened to see Minho clutching the sides of the white hole, tears streaming down his face, snot all over his shirt, and a pile of tissues scattered over the floor. 

Changbin was confused, disorientated and he wanted to scream, to crawl out of the tub and comfort his boyfriend.

He was helpless.

He couldn’t move, could only watch as Minho uprooted his emotions on the bathroom floor. 

He looked right into Changbin’s eyes for a moment, to the stains that hours and hours of cleaning wouldn’t remove and his chest just about caved in on him. His eyes were bloodshot, bags drooping over the dark circles that had formed over the weeks that had passed.

Changbin felt empty as he reached out to Minho, tears pricking at his eyes as his boyfriend flinched away.

Changbin wanted to curl up in his arms, let him hold onto him as he let his emotions get the better of him - at least Changbin would be there to remind him that he was in the present, that this moment was real and it was okay to be vulnerable.

But he couldn’t. 

Every step he took he came tumbling back down into the tub as Minho deteriorated in the early hours of that Tuesday morning.

Changbin couldn’t do a thing but watch.

Changbin surrendered.

✿

Minho’s eyes grew darker by the day and Changbin couldn’t do anything to get through to him. 

The man he loved didn’t want to listen to him, looked through him like he was one of the glass windows in their beloved cottage. 

Some days Minho would talk to him, except he wouldn’t look at Changbin at all. His expression would be vague, his eyes would gleam with tears and his fingers would shake in a way Changbin hadn’t been able to recall from his memories of the past. Minho was always put together, filled to the brim with love. 

This wasn’t Minho - broken, torn, and shaken - it just wasn’t him. 

He wasn’t the Minho Changbin remembered.

Changbin’s boyfriend stared at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, at his lack of personal hygiene, and laughed.

It was sarcastic, and it hurt to watch. 

It almost seemed like it was something Changbin wasn’t supposed to be able to witness.

“It’s all your fault,” Minho whispered to himself as he forced himself to look into the tub in the mirror, the lines of red that had stained the once perfectly pearl porcelain.

“All your goddamn fault.”

✿

Changbin woke up in the bath again, except this time he was mid-fall.

He called out for Minho, but there was no answer. He struggled to pick himself up, slipping further and hitting himself against the porcelain a second time. 

He called out his boyfriend’s name again.

Again, again, again. 

No-one came to his aid, no-one came to his side.

“Minho, help me.”

Changbin was weak.

_Hold on, please hold on._

Fading.

Water splashed over his skin, his vision blurred.

As he sunk into the tub and warm, red liquid filled the space around his body, three somber words slipped from his lips as he drifted back to the seas of obsidian.

“Don’t forget me.”

_ Minho _ didn’t come to his side.

✿

  
  


Everything came to a crescendo when the sky was at its gloomiest when morning shifted to afternoon without a single visible queue. 

Only the hand on the clock could tell Changbin that time had passed.

He was sitting at his table, letting depression catch hold of his body and pull him into the darkness. There was nothing else he could do, not when his days consisted of trying to mend something he didn’t know had broken in the first place with Minho. He just wanted his lover back, wanted things to go back to normal.

They should have gone to the cat shelter by now, should have been picking up a fur baby as they had planned so many months ago.

So many plans, so many opportunities shattered and Changbin didn’t know what he had done wrong to be ignored like this. 

It hurt.

There was no warning for the blinding light that took over his vision, and Changbin couldn’t breathe. 

Flashes of the tub took over his mind, blending in with the white and the gloominess of the outside world beyond the window.

When he regained his sight, he could see Minho kneeling over the flowerbed, cheeks gaunt and tears watering the neglected soil as he hovered above it.

Minho frantically buried his fingers into the flowerbed, pulling out the flowers and soil until he produced a long silver chain with a familiar pendant hooked through.

Changbin’s fingers searched for the chain that should be around his neck, finding nothing but bare skin.

✿

Minho looked up through the window, fingers quivering as he clutched the pendant so hard he drew blood across the palm of his hand. 

There it was - a glimpse of his lover barely visible through the windowpane, the outline of an apparition.

For the first time in months, Minho felt relief wash over his decaying body.

For the first time in months since Changbin’s passing, Minho finally saw him.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a mess, probably very bad and hard to understand, i do apologise :') if you can decipher this, i'd would be interested to know what you think of what happened.
> 
> links to my socials:  
> [1\. twitter](https://twitter.com/hyunchansao3) if anyone would like to follow for updates, and sneak peeks on wips and such. i am currently taking a break from there but will be back soon.  
> [2\. cc](https://curiouscat.qa/hyunchansao3) if you prefer anonymity! <3


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